We all have certain things that we’re touchy about. And we all have things that we delight in. Ready to fashion yourself for greater bliss?
Then it’s time to get thoughtful about our inner mechanisms!
This thought exercise seems simple at first. We’ve all got “buttons” that lie in wait, just waiting to get pressed. As you try out these experiments, you’ll find a significant depth to your fashioning.
Let’s start with yuck. These topics aren’t inherently easy, but do your best to keep it light. We’re talking about touchy topics, sure, but reducing them to “buttons” helps you to play with it and try things out.
Think about something you were touchy about recently. Something that rubbed you the wrong way. Not the thing that’s set in stone in your psyche forever. Think about that touchy yuck button that was created in the moment. It often sounds like an ultimatum (“if this guy does X one more time…”). Think about that for a moment as a choice on your part: a decision you made to build a yuck button in the moment.
If you’re like most of us, you’re probably feeling some extreme resistance to this notion. Notice it, and insist on exploring that. You’ll have a series of stubborn reasons why building that yuck button was a good idea, or beyond your control. But get stubborn: what if you found moments where you made the active decision not to build a yuck button?
Here are a few lil’ notes to help:
- Take note of the difference between pain and fear. Pain is the actual suffering. Fear is the cloud around it. When you really appreciate that fact, you’ll find that the size of your touchiness is quite a bit larger than your actual button. Maybe it even looks a bit silly, with that mismatched fit.
- Give yourself plenty of understanding and compassion. Some relationships are “hard mode”. Some topics run deeply. There will always be curveballs. Expect your new strides to come gradually, and unsteadily. That’s okay!
Ooh, now for the fun stuff. Remember that “ultimatum” feeling, where you were noticing moments of preparing yourself, geraing yourself up, and giving yourself permission to respond in a certain way? What if you did that in an awesome way?
Try it! No matter the experience, there are zillions of little yum buttons you could build. Get silly, be flippant, have fun.
Here are a few examples of yum buttons you might build for yourself on the fly:
- Next time I indulge in a favorite personal ritual, I am going to relish it more deeply than I ever have before.
- What are my favorite topics? I’m going to savor them by introducing them to conversation, and invite people to play with them in new ways.
- As I talk with this person, I’ll pay close attention to their interests and ask deeper questions, to see much I can get them to light up with delight.
Actually, creating yum buttons is a bit like having your own inner game show. You’re unveiling your own prizes and rewards. With some you’ll hit the button and win the jackpot, and with some you’ll just savor as a passing notion of possibility. A pretty cool new part of your personal experience, eh? CONGRATULATIONS!
Now that you’ve got the idea, do it on purpose. Of course it doesn’t feel natural. The whole point is that you’re actively steering your inner mechanisms. Create lots of opportunities for deeper enjoyment of life. As your yum buttons help you to jump-start deeper gratitude and compassion, you may find life to be significantly more… yummy.